Five O'Clock Somewhere

Welcome to Five O'Clock Somewhere, where it doesn't matter what time zone you're in; it's five o'clock somewhere. We'll look at rural life, especially as it happens in Rio Arriba County, New Mexico, cats, sailing (particularly Etchells racing yachts), and bits of grammar and Victorian poetry.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Sailing Personality Quiz

What kind of sailor are you?

In sailing, as in anything else, there are many different styles, and the sailor will have a more pleasant sailing experience if he or she matches boating activities to his or her personality. To find out your personality type, take this quiz.

1. The best after-sailing beverage is …
A. wine-in-a-box.
B. beer (the real kind).
C. “that frozen concoction that helps me hang on.”
D. GROG!

2. When I’m not sailing, I like to …
A. garden.
B. what do you mean, not sailing?
C. prepare gourmet meals in the galley.
D. like, man, you don’t want to know.

3. To improve downwind performance while under spinnaker, I …
A. pull on the alligator.
B. tension the fraculator.
C. unplug the blender.
D. grab a paddle.

4. My ideal shopping trip involves …
A. Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Harbor Freight.
B. Bacon Sails, Marblehead Rigging and Annapolis Performance Sailing.
C. Dillard’s, Macy’s, and Bed Bath & Beyond.
D. a trip south of the border.

5. The ideal boat is …
A. a J boat.
B. something lean and fast with lots of strings to pull and no wimpy lifelines.
C. something with a queen-size master berth, an electric head, and a blender.
D. anything, as long as it floats and gives good vibes, man.

6. My favorite sailing destination is …
A. Lake Pleasant, Arizona.
B. San Diego One-Design Weekend.
C. the Balearic Islands.
D. hey, any trip is a good trip.

7. My favorite movie is …
A. Splash.
B. Master and Commander: the Far Side of the World.
C. Titanic.
D. Captain Ron.

8. When something breaks, I …
A. break out the welding rig and mix up some fiberglass.
B. call Vinny.
C. make an appointment with the boatyard master.
D. live with it, man.

9. The ideal pet is …
A. a small dog.
B. a herd of cats.
C. a Bichon Frisé.
D. a pink elephant.

10. My favorite television show is …
A. Hee Haw.
B. Clipper Yacht Racing.
C. Globe Trekker (on the on-board 42-inch plasma screen).
D. Gilligan’s Island.

11. My favorite breakfast is …
A. pancakes with peanut butter.
B. chocolate chip sourdough pancakes with beer.
C. crêpes Suzette with mimosas.
D. whatever life passes my way, man.

12. A bad day is when …
A. some newcomer beats me in a race.
B. anyone beats me in a race.
C. there is a voltage drop in the main refrigeration circuit.
D. it isn’t the day that’s bad; it’s a disturbance in the flow.

13. A sailing club dinner at a restaurant …
A. isn’t on my diet.
B. is time not spent sailing.
C. would overwhelm the staff and result in an inferior quality experience.
D. is an opportunity to get someone else to pay for dinner.

14. Dismasting is …
A. a damned inconvenience, especially if I don’t have all the right parts on hand.
B. an opportunity to get a new, high-performance mast.
C. an excuse to lay up in a fancy port.
D. dis mast is de big stick on my boat.

15. My favorite music is …
A. Hawaiian.
B. Sinatra.
C. Rachmaninoff.
D. Rasta.

16. “Head up” means …
A. push the tiller away from the helmsperson.
B. move the tiller toward the boom.
C. there’s a new keg on the tap.
D. the lake is down, so it’s a long hike to the bar and bathroom.

17. My favorite book is …
A. my photo scrapbook.
B. sailboat tuning guides.
C. Ferenc Maté’s Classic Yachts.
D. The Whole Earth Catalog.

18. “Starboard tack” means …
A. the boat is going left.
B. the boom is on the left side of the boat.
C. the blender is in the galley, on the left.
D. don’t walk barefoot on the deck.

19. A vegetarian …
A. is someone who don’t eat meat.
B. can follow an acceptable training diet if the proper supplements are added.
C. can be a pain to cook for.
D. is saving the planet.

20. Wherever I go …
A. I bring a mobile workshop.
B. I cover the fleet behind me.
C. I bring my platinum card.
D. like, there I am.

Bonus. It’s five o’clock …
A. and that means it’s Miller time.
B. somewhere.
C. time to serve cocktails and aperitifs.
D. not really, time is an illusion.

If most of your answers were A’s, try club racing. You could probably get a job at a boatyard, too. Mostly B’s: You’re into higher performance. Get something fast to feed your need for adrenaline. Mostly C’s: You’re a candidate for relaxed cruising. Schedule an appointment with your yacht consultant. D’s: Do I need to say anything? This is as real as it gets.

6 Comments:

Blogger Tillerman said...

Very clever. But the Balearics are not just for relaxed cruising. More info soon on Proper Course.

Sat Sep 23, 08:17:00 AM MDT  
Blogger Pat said...

Some quiz readers may be puzzled by a few of the responses or might even suspect that they're not getting some sort of Inside Joke. Our apologies. However, long-time blog readers should get enough of the gist of things to make some sense of the sailing personality types.

Mon Sep 25, 02:37:00 PM MDT  
Blogger Pat said...

Bonus Question:
It's five o'clock

B. Somewhere. (But, that's no excuse to get off the lake or quit practicing.)

Wed Sep 27, 01:59:00 PM MDT  
Anonymous John Sully said...

The correct answers for question 6 are:

A. Captain Ron.
B. Captain Ron.
C. Captain Ron.
D. Captain Ron.

Sat Feb 13, 04:53:00 PM MST  
Blogger Mark Cervantes said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Tue Oct 21, 12:08:00 PM MDT  
Blogger Mark Cervantes said...

This may seem really unorthodox for this site but I am producing a reality show centered around sailing & living aboard and am looking for a VERY dynamic individual or VERY dynamic couple that would be interested in serving as the TV personality or personalities. If you or anyone you know fits the bill of a "very interesting character” please let me know @ markcervantes99@gmail.com
Good day to all and happy sailing!

Tue Oct 21, 12:11:00 PM MDT  

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